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Handy guide on how to tell if you're living in a high fantasy novel

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From The Toast:

The Elders would like a word with you. The Ritual is about to begin.Something that has not happened in a thousand years is happening.You are going to the City. There is only one City. It is only said with a capital C. No one needs to bother saying the name of the City. It is the City.Certain members of the Council are displeased with your family’s recent actions.A bard is providing occasional comic relief; no one hired or invited him and his method of earning a living is unclear. The High Priest is not to be trusted. Someone is eating an apple mockingly. There is one body of water. It is called the Sea. The Great Sea, if you are feeling fancy. You live in a region with no major exports, no centralized government, no banking system, a mysteriously maintained network of roads, and little to no job training for anyone who is not a farmer. You have red hair. You wear it in a braid. Your father was a simple man, and you don’t remember much about him – he died when you w…

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