Anyone remember the Conan the Adventurer cartoon?

Here's the intro to it.



I'm amazed that they managed to make a kid-friendly cartoon about Conan. The intro explains the premise of the show: Conan's family is turned to "living stone" by Wrath-Amon, a wizard lizardman who wanted this stuff called Star Metal that Conan's father had created from the metal of a meteorite. The metal would allow Wrath-Amon to open a portal and release his god, Set. The metal also had the ability to undo the human disguise of Wrath-Amon and his minions and reveal their serpenty selves, as well as banish them to the same dimension as Set with a simple touch. It was a clever way of side-stepping the violence of the Conanverse. Anyway, Conan's dad had forged the Star Metal into weapons, including a sword for Conan that the latter naturally used to fight Wrath-Amon in order to save his family.

There were several other characters on the show and each was armed with weapons that were also made out of Star Metal. Oh, and Conan had a shield that he could use to summon a smartass Phoenix.

The toys that went with this show sucked, though. Basically oversized chunks of plastic with no articulation except in the shoulders and the hips. Bleck.

George R. R. Martin's Appendix N (of sorts)

The other day on his blog, the much esteemed writer of A Song of Ice and Fire posted his recommendations for fantasy reading. Check it out:

For some readers I like to draw attention to the classics of our genre. It never ceases to amaze me to discover that some of my own fans have never heard of all the great fantasists who came before me, without whom A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE could never have been written... without whom, in truth, there might not be a fantasy genre at all. If you have enjoyed my own fantasy novels, you owe it to yourself to read J.R.R. Tolkien (LORD OF THE RINGS), Robert E. Howard (Conan the Cimmerian, Kull of Atlantis, Solomon Kane), C.L. Moore (Jirel of Joiry), Jack Vance (THE DYING EARTH, Lyonesse, Cugel the Clever, and so much more), Fritz Leiber (Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser), Richard Adams (WATERSHIP DOWN, SHARDIK, MAIA), Ursula K. Le Guin (Earthsea, the original trilogy), Mervyn Peake (GORMENGHAST), T.H. White (THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING), Rosemary Sutcliffe, Alan Garner, H.P. Lovecraft (more horror than fantasy, admittedly), Clark Ashton Smith, and... well, the list is long. But those writers should keep you busy for quite a while. You won't like all of them, perhaps... some wrote quite a long time ago, and neither their prose nor their attitudes are tailored for modern attention spans and sensibilities... but they were all important, and each, in his or her own way, was a great storyteller who helped make fantasy what it is today.

Maybe you've read all the fantasy classics, however. I have lots of readers for whom that is true as well. Those I like to point at some of my contemporaries. As great as Tolkien, Leiber, Vance, REH, and those others were, THIS is the golden age of epic fantasy. There have never been as many terrific writers working in the genre as there are right now. Actually, there has never been so much epic fantasy published than right now, which means a lot of mediocre and downright terrible books as well, since Sturgeon's Law still applies. But I prefer to talk about the good stuff, and there's a lot of that. Just for starts, check out Daniel Abraham (THE LONG PRICE QUARTET, THE DAGGER AND THE COIN, Scott Lynch (the Locke Lamora series), Patrick Rothfuss, Joe Abercrombie (especially BEST SERVED COLD and THE HEROES)... they will keep you turning pages for a good long while, I promise...

He goes on to make several other recommendations, including Maurice Druon's Accursed Kings series, which are being rereleased in hardcover in the UK with a nice little tagline on the cover by Martin himself. On the whole, it's a pretty nice list and I like the mix of classics and modern day works. I did notice that he left out Robert Jordan and the Wheel of Time series. Hmm. I'm sure fans of Howard, Leiber, Moore, Vance and others will be pleased as punch to know that Martin reads those works too.

So what do you think? Are these recommendations good?

Freaking Trollocs!

I started reading Eye of the World a couple of months ago, but because I was still a bit burnt out on fantasy, I stopped reading it for a bit. Then I started up again and I'm past the 100 page mark. Here's my reaction so far: Holy shit. Trollocs! Aes Sedai! Warder! False Dragon! Bela!

Man, I really regret owning this book for so long and not reading it sooner! 710 pages to go.

The wear and tear of campaigning

Hard traveling men.
Credit: Wikipedia.

Inspired by this post I read last night from Erik Tenkar of Tenkar's Tavern: Does Anyone Use Real Life Illnesses / Viruses in Their Campaign?. Oh, the things one thinks of when they're sick.

As I sit here, waiting for my next "call to nature", it occurs to me that the only times I've seen illness / viruses / flus and the like in an RPG campaign, it been as part of a plot hook.

I don't ever recall an adventuring party getting sidelined by dysentery, a flu, the norovirus (love ya dude, but you are more than welcome to take your leave now) or any such run of the mill illness.

It got the gerbil running in its wheel and I started to think about the other riggers a hard traveling, hard fighting party of adventures might face. Footwear, for example, would probably have to be replaced at least once or twice a year, depending on what kind of paces they're put through. Clothes would likely fair worse, especially given frequent combat. Then there's personal hygiene. Questing would work up a mighty sweat and unless a party bathes regularly, villagers (and monsters!) would undoubtedly smell them coming from a mile away!

What the super ladies of DC Comics do when they're not fighting crime

Credit: Kyle Latino.

I found this on Rended Press while perusing Gothridge Manor's blogroll. This piece of awesomeness was drawn by Kyle Latino and it is just great. I really like the retro touches - the old style Mountain Dew cans, the Pizza Hut box (mwschmeer of Rended Press pointed that one out in his blog post) and Wonder Woman's DM screen. Class wise, I think Batgirl would probably be a rogue class. Alternatively, maybe a paladin. Black Canary a bard, Zatanna would obviously be a wizard, and Hawkgirl a fighter.

This is awesome.

There's a new webcomic called Table Titans and it's about D&D

Valerie Bronzebottom is a delight.
Credit: Table Titans.

Table Titans is a comic created by Scott Kurtz, who writes and draws another webcomic called PvP, and Wizards of the Coast. It's based on a storyline he did for PvP that I posted about last year where a trio of D&D players play through a almost mythical module for fame and to be unbanned from their FLGS. The storyline proved to be so popular, WoTC asked Kurtz if he'd do a new series revolving around the characters.

Credit: PvP*.

I can't really pass judgement on the comic yet, since it just started and aside from the original storyline, there are only two new strips. However, the original strips were pretty good, so I sort of recommend it. What's interesting about Table Titans, though, is the "Tales from the Table" feature. People can submit their favorite D&D stories (no idea if you can submit tales from other tabletop games) and they'll be posted on the site. I've read the ones they have now and honestly, most aren't all that great. Some are amusing, but the rest just aren't. There's another feature called Bestiary, which talks about different D&D monsters.

So, what do you think? Is Table Titans worth reading or an epic fail?

*I'll linkback to the strip as soon as Kurtz fixes his website.

Race to Monk Mountain

Or, A Mountain of Monks.

Mount Athos.
Credit: Wikipedia.

I can't remember how, exactly, I came across this, but I found this article on Wikipedia a few weeks ago about a place in Greece called Mount Athos, also known as the Holy Mountain. It's on a peninsula and its main distinguishing feature is that it is full of monasteries, about twenty in all. The first ones seem to have been built during the reign of Basil I, Emperor of the Byzantine Empire. Over time, more and more were built, that eventually, the mountain and the peninsula itself were more or less given over to the monks and it holds a unique political status in Greece.

Xenophontos Monastery.
Credit: Wikipedia.

Any hoot, the idea of a mountain full of monks was more than a little interesting and the potential for worldbuilding, RPGs, and wargaming were apparent. Having such an area in a fictional world would add a nice dash of flavor. For RPGs, such a place could be used as a point of origin for clerics and monks. Maybe earning admittance to one of the many monasteries is a goal that a cleric or monk character strives for. Maybe they sent out by their order with the mission of acquiring outside knowledge and bringing it back. For wargaming, it could be an area and a goal for either side: One player has the objective to raiding or capturing the mountain, while the other player has to defend it.

Zograf Monastery.
Credit: Wikipedia.

One interesting bit that would certainly make things interesting for worldbuilding and RPGers would be the fact that women are forbidden from setting foot on the mountain, unless they have prior written consent from the monks. That would certainly be a challenge for female characters.

Elven ranger on patrol

Or maybe a sentry standing guard, on the lookout for wayward hobbits?

Credit: Master-9650.

So I'm reading this book called The Eye of the World, but you've probably never heard of it

It's the first book in a fairly obscure fantasy series called The Wheel of Time by a guy named Robert Jordan.

Via Wikipedia.

Personally, I believe "Robert Jordan" is really a pen name for another writer. I haven't quite narrowed it down yet, but I think it's either Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, or Joe Abercrombie. In any case, it's a fairly enjoyable book and provided that you can find a book store or online retailer that sells it, I recommend it.

In all seriousness, I bought this book back in like 2004 or 2005 by accident. I had gone to the book store to buy Discworld, but had a brain fart and couldn't remember the name of the series. Wheel of Time sounded about right and I didn't realize my mistake until later. I never returned it because back then, I had anxiety about doing that sort of thing. I've made several attempts on and off to read the book, but I've never been able to get past the first few pages. Fortunately, that seems to have changed and hopefully, I'll be able to finish the entire book.

Am I going to read the rest of the series if I finish Eye of the World? It depends on whether or not I enjoy the first book.

Megadungeons? Pfft, megadungeons are so passe.

I keep reading post after post on some of the OSR blogs I'm subscribed to about megadungeons and all I have to say is YAAAAAAAWN! Sure, sure, megadungeons are fine...if you're an old lady and don't have the testicular fortitude to handle a truly manly dungeon: the microdungeon!

Sssh, don't worry, not everyone can handle such a piece of awesomeness as a microdungeon. Just go home and play with your Yu-Gi-Oh cards and hope Santa brings you a bigger pair of balls for Christmas.

So what's a microdungeon, you ask, your voice quivering slightly as you try to man up? A microdungeon is a dungeon that is roughly the size of a shotgun shack.

Floor plan of a shotgun shack.
Credit: Wikipedia.

A "shotgun house" is a narrow rectangular domestic residence, usually no more than 12 feet (3.5 m) wide, with rooms arranged one behind the other and doors at each end of the house. It was the most popular style of house in the Southern United States from the end of the American Civil War (1861–65), through the 1920s. Alternate names include "shotgun shack", "shotgun hut" and "shotgun cottage". A railroad apartment is somewhat similar, but has a side hallway from which rooms are entered (by analogy to compartments in passenger rail cars).

I'll give you a moment to go and change your diapers, because you've undoubtedly wet yourself from the sheer brilliance of the microdungeon. Another feature is that each room contains two thousand chests filled with gold coins* and only one rat. Additionally, the dungeon is populated by old people from a retirement home and will incessantly try to talk to you for hours on end about what things were like back in their day and how Warren G. Harding was a great president.

I'll understand if you can't bring yourself to play a mind blowing, ultra-masculine dungeon. Go and content yourself with your wee little pansy megadungeon.

*Unfortunately, all the coins are the gold plated commemorative ones you see advertized on TV all the time and are each only worth a fraction of the value of a copper coin.